Tired Mind

Le Tourbillon De La Vie

Taking pictures of a dream

A few months ago my friend Nathan, a photography student at Colombia in Chicago, gave me a Holga Camera. I looove it. It's super simple and lightweight but the pictures come out complex and with a lot of character. It sets a certain mood in the photos that I've always tried to capture but never really got there. Almost like taking pictures of a dream.

It's still pretty new to me and it's really expensive to process so I haven't been able to fully dive in yet but I'm starting to get a hang of it. Realizing what works and what doesn't so I'm getting more of a focus now of the direction I want to go with it.

Here are a few of my favorite photos from my first couple rolls of film.

The sun pours down like honey

Suzanne takes you down to her place near the river
You can hear the boats go by
You can spend the night beside her
And you know that she's half crazy
But that's why you want to be there
And she feeds you tea and oranges
That come all the way from China
And just when you mean to tell her
That you have no love to give her
Then she gets you on her wavelength
And she lets the river answer
That you've always been her lover
And you want to travel with her
And you want to travel blind
And you know that she will trust you
For you've touched her perfect body with your mind.

And Jesus was a sailor
When he walked upon the water
And he spent a long time watching
From his lonely wooden tower
And when he knew for certain
Only drowning men could see him
He said "All men will be sailors then
Until the sea shall free them"
But he himself was broken
Long before the sky would open
Forsaken, almost human
He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone
And you want to travel with him
And you want to travel blind
And you think maybe you'll trust him
For he's touched your perfect body with his mind.

Now Suzanne takes your hand
And she leads you to the river
She is wearing rags and feathers
From Salvation Army counters
And the sun pours down like honey
On our lady of the harbour
And she shows you where to look
Among the garbage and the flowers
There are heroes in the seaweed
There are children in the morning
They are leaning out for love
And they will lean that way forever
While Suzanne holds the mirror
And you want to travel with her
And you want to travel blind
And you know that you can trust her
For she's touched your perfect body with her mind.

Too much wasted energy with nothing in return.





Something needs to change.





I'm letting go.





Here's to a new life.

Cheers

Obama on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade

Over the last eight years, on each anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, former President Bush would declare his support for the thousands of anti-choice activists who rally in Washington DC each year on that day.


This year, the White House sent a different message.


THE WHITE HOUSE
Office of the Press Secretary
For Immediate Release January 22, 2009
Statement of President Obama on the 36th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade

On the 36th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, we are reminded that this decision not only protects women's health and reproductive freedom, but stands for a broader principle: that government should not intrude on our most private family matters. I remain committed to protecting a woman's right to choose.

While this is a sensitive and often divisive issue, no matter what our views, we are united in our determination to prevent unintended pregnancies, reduce the need for abortion, and support women and families in the choices they make. To accomplish these goals, we must work to find common ground to expand access to affordable contraception, accurate health information, and preventative services.

On this anniversary, we must also recommit ourselves more broadly to ensuring that our daughters have the same rights and opportunities as our sons: the chance to attain a world-class education; to have fulfilling careers in any industry; to be treated fairly and paid equally for their work; and to have no limits on their dreams. That is what I want for women everywhere.


THE WHITE HOUSE, January 22, 2009.

holday video by Zollie

Zollies first time using imovie. He made a holiday video of me synced with Tea for the Tillerman by Cat Stevens. Watch it! It's only a minute long. and for the record, I didn't make the coffee pictured in the video... I don't know who did.

The proudest little Pisces you'll ever meet

Oh city pages astrology section, you never seem to fail me. Whether it directly applies to my life or it just makes me think, or it inspires me. I love it.

Pisces- for the week of 12/24/08- "How do you slay the dragon?" journalist Bill Moyers asked mythologist Joseph Campbell in an interview. By "dragon", he was referring to the dangerous beast that symbolizes the most unripe and uncontrollable part of each of our lives. In reply to Moyers, Campbell didn't suggest that you become a master warrior, nor did he recommend that you cultivate high levels of sleek, savage anger. "follow your bliss" he said simply. Personally, I don't know if that's enough to slay the dragon- I'm inclined to believe that you also have to take some defensive measures- but it's definitely worth an extended experiment. Would you consider trying that in 2009?

Yes, I will consider trying that in 2009. In fact, I have already been working on this experiment and I feel better already. Being honest with yourself and the people you love is really important and, although this is new to me (I've never really been good at confronting situations if something is bothering me that is beyond my control), I think it will work out best for me in the long run.

How does this apply to you? Think about it...

back from the dead?

I am really sorry I haven't been posting much these days. My life feels really chaotic but I don't think it really is, so I don't have an excuse.

Possible reasons I haven't been posting:

-Since I've been home from NY I feel like I'm constantly surrounded by friends. I never have alone time and for the most part I like it this way but I am going to try to start focusing on me again. (I''m going to come back to this idea)

-My blog, for the most part, is direction-less. There is no main focus to my blog (for example: food blogs, craft blogs, family blogs, travel blogs) My blog is me just rambling about nonsense in my life or random facts and videos which makes me feel uninteresting and self-centered. It's like "hey guys, read about my life, care about what I think" That's how I feel...

Anyways, back to that first idea. I started working part time at Black Sheep again. Pete did me a huge favor by giving me a couple of shifts per week because he can't really afford it, which I really appreciate 100% but I still have so much negative feelings about the place. My biggest issue I'm dealing with is serving amazing coffee to people who do NOT at all care or appreciate it. 95% of our customers just want a "regular cup of coffee" which in itself is amazing at black sheep considering we have really intelligent people that care roasting the coffee, the coffee is roasted in house, we use the clover brewing system and have intelligent and well trained baristas making the coffee.
I also have no connection to any of the customers that come in. They are not interesting or interested in their baristas at all. South St. Paul is a different world. It bothers me most because I think about the 3 months I worked at Gimme and I can think of a good amount of regulars there that would be thrilled if I came back and that is why I love being a barista most of all, it's the barista-customer relationship. It's being proud about serving amazing coffee and serving people who appreciate the taste and complexity of the coffee and the love and passion that goes into it. Maybe you (whoever you may be) don't really understand but I feel very strongly about this.
A positive part of working at black sheep and what makes it so unique is the fact that we are allowed and encouraged to be as creative as we want with our products. If we have an idea we have full reign of ingrediants and equipment to make our wildest dreams come true. And we also have alot of say in the way things run. If something isn't working out you can talk to Peter or Kathy and brainstorm ideas of how to make it a better situation for everyone. This is really important and amazing in my opinion.

I'm only working at Black sheep a couple of days a week though and the rest of my time has been spent with my friends and our crazy antics, which has been really great and everything but I'm trying to start focusing on me and what makes me. I want to set up my darkroom, paint more, write more, rest more, just have more me time.

Since I've been back I've been couch hopping and sharing a room with my sister which hasn't been too bad actually. I don't want to jump on getting a place right away because I'm already starting to think about my next travel plans and I can't afford both. I'm feeling a little bit like Jack Kerouac in On The Road in the sense that I'm pretty direction-less and probably not making the most "responsible" decisions as far as my life goes and "success" and all that but I strive most traveling. Being somewhere I've never been before. I learn so much from these experiences about myself and the world I live in and honestly it makes me feel more alive then I've ever felt. It's living out my dreams and if you don't have any dreams or you don't apply your dreams to your life then what do you really have?

My brother, on me.

My sister called me tonight after the whole family, minus me, got done eating dinner to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving. I told her it was weird that I was the only one missing and she said that her, and the rest of the family definitely noticed my absence. Apparently, My oldest brother Matt said it was quiet because I was always the conversation starter and kept the conversations up. Then, my brother went on to do an impression of me at the dinner table.

"So, what do you think about communism?"

HAHAHAHA

I can't believe that is how he sees me. It's almost heartwarming in a weird twisted sense.

Oh ps. I love my family sooo much.

My oldest brother Matt and my nephews Max and George.

sunflower: the disney charecter that never exhisted

When the Disney film Fantasia was first released back in 1940 there was a character that was a female black centaur that performed menial tasks for white blond centaurs. This character was a typical racist stereotype of the 1940's. But if you watch the movie now, no such character exists. Disney denied the existence of this character for years whenever asked about it. It wasn't until images of the character came to surface recently that Disney owned up to it. Her name was Sunflower.

More on election night

We were in Prospect Heights. Things seemed to have gotten a LOT crazier in other parts of New York but I had a blast.

Here's the video.

I have the most beautiful yard in the world

So, as I think I've mentioned at least a few times I get to have prospect park as my backyard, which has made the transition from St. Paul to New York a lot easier. Any time I want to escape the city I just walk outside my apartment and I'm surrounded by yellow, red, and green trees, kites, dogs running free, open fields of grass, and people that are just relaxing. It's rare to see people kick back and relax here, everyone always has somewhere to be. This park has saved my sanity.

Kids playing in the fountain. It was too cute to not take a picture of.

Baby Bumblebee!

Jordan and I had a breakfast picnic one morning a couple of weeks ago.
Greek yogurt swirled with pumpkin butter and granola and mimosas.

MIMOSAAAAS

One People

So we did it. WE DID IT! And then we celebrated.

Last night was one of the most beautiful nights of my life. Strangers were embracing each other all over the streets. I DANCED with a 62 year old woman who was going insane she was so happy. I was talking to this guy I met from Jamaica and we were both trying to explain to each other how we felt (which was very difficult to describe with words) but at the same time we understood each other. And then he said it was so beautiful because tonight, everybody is one people. And that was exactly it. Here are some pictures from the election party I was at.









Note: This has taken 3 days to publish because I really really wanted to post a video I took of the streets that night but I'm giving up for now. I will try to get it up asap but my computer is going soooo slow.

cheating?

So I'm starting this blog at 11:56 pm. But I know it won't be published until after midnight. Is that cheating for NaBloPoMo? I don't think so... My days are effed.

My friends from the cities came and played a show for CMJ music fest. Let me tell you, the show was amazing! And it was also really awesome to once again, have a piece of home here with me in New York. That feeling is indescribable,really. Anyways, here are some photos from that night.

Kyle

Me and Holly

Zack and Kyle

Kid Dakota played as well.

Jordan

Aviette

long overdue

The morning I got my camera, Jordan and I went to the Banksy exhibit that opened in the city. The Village Pet Store and Charcoal Grill. I knew what to expect as far as what was going to be there but I didn't expect it to be done so well. This is the first time he had used animatronic animals. Some of it was very realistic and eerie. In the window outside you could see a rabbit in a glass cage putting makeup on in a mirror. In the cage next to that was a mother chicken watching over her "chicken nuggets" as they pecked in BBQ sauce. On the other side in the window cage was what looked like a sleeping leopard in a tree, tail wagging. On the inside though, when you looked at the leopard from the other side it was a leopard fur jacket. In addition to these there were processed meets like salami and bologna wiggling around in glass cages and drinking from water dishes. My explanations of the exhibit do not do it justice however. It was a really really great exhibit.

The "leopard" from the inside of the store.

This monkey was sitting and watching other primates on the discovery channel. This was the most realistic of them all. It's stomach was moving like it was breathing and it's eyes were shifting around the t.v. and it was moving it's mouth and reacting to the scenes on the screen. I swear I thought it was going to turn and look at me. There was an empty pizza box and an empty pack of cigarettes on the floor next to it.

These guys were wiggling around their cages as well.

Fish sticks swimming around in a fish bowl.

The nuggets.

Jordan at the Fatty Crab afterwards.
MMMM